Time Passes, People Change

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m not quite sure what this little piece of writing is. I was gearing up to write my short story one night and ended up with two completely separate and different drafts. The story that I handed in was a children’s book about a penguin that wanted to fly. This one is more… personal I suppose. I was thinking about Night of the Notables overall, and how it had effected me and made me a stronger, more passionate person. Change, acceptance, risky, friends. These were words that crossed my mind as I wrote. It may not be much as it’s only a first draft, but I figure there is no reason not to share my writing and wonderment when I have this handy blog to do exactly that! Just somethings to think about. Thank you.

-Katie

She wasn’t sure when she had decided. Or even if it was a conscious descision. All she knew was that somewhere, somehow, she had come to the conclusion that the upcoming year was going to be the best one yet.

Looking at her, she appeared average. There was nothing particularly special, she didn’t excel at any subject or area. Yes, she was a good student, kept herself busy, and tried to perfect everything she did. On the outside, she may have appeared confident. Then again, many people appear confident on the outside, but what about the inside?

There comes a time in everyone’s life (perhaps more than once) when one doubts themselves. They sink inside and wallow over life. The type or quality of life that the person leads is irrelevant. Ask her. She knows.

She knows that her life is blessed. How fortunate she is to have a good home with a caring family, a place to get educated, opportunities to explore and discover who she is. There is much to be thankful for, including the less fortunate life experiences. There was a time when she got lost inside herself, pushed over by a wave of depressed anger.

A mirror, a single pane of shimmering reflective glass, had started it all. She looked long and hard at her reflection until she had found all her faults. When that girl looked in the mirror she saw a fat and stupid person looking back, one who didn’t deserve all the wonderful things she had.

That was only the edge of the cliff, the long fall that followed was frightening. The girl stopped eating, denied herself happiness. Before long, she succeeded, at least to a certain extent. Looking skeletal didn’t make her feel beautiful though; Crying herself to sleep didn’t help her to rest.

Time passes, people change, and it is the natural occurrence of life. Eventually she was able to admit that she was falling, and taking her entire family with her. Like a fly trapped in a spider’s net, she had wound solid strings of self-loathing around herself, binding her to a life of gloom.  And so, she allowed herself to pass through that natural occurrence and change. She allowed herself to heal.

Still, everything a person does leaves a mark on them. She was no exception, however she never understood what that mark was.

Only a couple years later, she finds herself in the middle of a difficult situation once again, however, this time she is not alone. The situation is beneficial, happy even. She is surrounded by others who support, guide, and teach her, just as she does for them. People are creating, excelling, and seizing the day all around her.

Together, this group of people have all proven something. Now they stand strong and unaware of their accomplishments; they have taken risks and grown as people. Yet it’s all just a test. A test of organization, endurance, literary skills… More than anything they learn to lean upon each other. With unspoken words and understanding they supported each other through and learned about themselves in the process.

She knew this was an important addition to the list of things that she was thankful for. She now had a clearer idea of what lasting effects that terrible experience had put on her. They had taught her to believe in herself and her abilities to overcome the things that scared her.

School continued, work piled on, but she moved forward, empowered. She had made a connection between good and bad, she had realized that a person must have both to truly shape him/herself into a human being. For her, the pain and suffering made her mentally tougher as well as more caring for others in self-destructive situations. The triumph and joy made her consider her growth and see the confidence she possessed, not only in herself, but in others.

Like a lump of clay, she once sat on a shelf, waiting. Each life occurrence had morphed and sculpted her into the person she is today. The building and learning process is not over, it may never be. She believes though, in herself and others. And so, she has power over her own life. She will seize the day.